Divorces come in all shapes and sizes. Some divorces are the accumulation of hundreds of small events over the years, while others are the result of a major incident. Recently, the Huffington Post surveyed 100 couples about what constitutes a “dealbreaker” in marriage. Below are the top five things each couple should avoid if they hope to have a long and happy marriage.
The majority of couples said that they would seek a divorce if they discovered that their partner had cheated on them. Some couples said they would try to work through the infidelity, but an overwhelming number of couples said it would be a dealbreaker. Many couples say trust is one of the most important aspects in marriage, and they did not feel like they could ever trust their spouse again if one partner cheated.
Similar to infidelity, dishonestly severs the trust in a relationship. Many couples view marriage as the ultimate sign of trust, and lying to your spouse can break that trust. A lot of times, people lie about relatively unimportant things, thinking this will avoid a minor argument, but oftentimes this can just make things worse. Lying can also put strain on a relationship if you have to keep a lie going for longer than you expected. When in doubt, tell the truth and show respect for your partner.
Addictions can be a dealbreaker for many couples because they usually come to light once a couple is married. You may catch glimpses of these addictions while you are dating, but they tend to be exposed during the marriage. Vices like alcohol, drugs, gambling or pornography may put a strain on the relationship and make it difficult for one party to hold a job or manage money. Although some relationships can be saved with the help of addiction counseling, many couples feel that addiction is a dealbreaker because it shows that your spouse was hiding something all along.
4. Physical and emotional abuse
While there are cases that can be made to work through the other causes of divorce, no person should ever stay in an abusive relationship. If you or your children are being abused physically or emotionally, do not wait to seek help. Many couples said that they would seek a divorce if they felt like their spouse was a danger to themselves or their kids.
5. Big changes in priorities
This answer is the least definitive of all the responses, but it highlights a crucial aspect of marriage. Before you pop the question, you and your partner should talk about your lives down the road. Will one of you convert religions? Will you have kids? Would you be willing to move far away for a job opportunity? These are all questions that should be considered before marriage, but some couples said a major change in belief or priorities was enough to warrant a divorce. In the end, don’t agree with a person because you think that’s what they want to hear. Instead, be open and honest about your feelings so there aren’t any unwanted surprises down the road.
Related source: Huffington Post